If Women Ran Pharmas…

Given this year’s election and the obvious wish of some candidates to put women back into aprons and stationed behind a stove with our mouths (and legs) closed, my mind has wandered to how life would be if women were in charge (something that these candidates obviously fear).

So today’s thought… if women ran pharmaceutical companies.

For one, there would be a birth control pill for men.

They figured out a way to use hormones to stop a woman’s body from releasing an egg, yet they can’t figure out how to turn off sperm production or to create placebo sperm? I doubt they have tried. I appreciate that we have a CHOICE to use contraceptives, but think there should be an equal opportunity for men to pump hormones into their bodies to prevent creating more children. Let men share the burden of mood swings and other hormonal nonsense side effects.

While we’re on genitals…If women ran pharmaceutical companies, we’d stop creating new ED pills. Long gone are the days when men only had Viagra. There are now plenty of choices and in most cases, men would benefit more from a quick workout. The time spent on research for additional options would be better used in coming up with medication for women to enjoy sex more.

Men’s genitals are very user-friendly. Women’s, not so much. These brilliant scientists could be at work creating an enhancement for women. Let’s give women a chance to stop faking.

If women ran pharmaceutical companies... we would find a way to eliminate cellulite. I realize there has been a lot of research and new products and procedures to fight cellulite, but progress is slow. If we look at this realistically, there are two factors coming between woman and our desire for non-dimpled thighs: 1. Only women get cellulite, which automatically makes it unimportant. And, 2. men don’t generally care about cellulite. If they’re seeing cellulite, the clothes are off, so they’re not about to complain.

If women ran pharmaceutical companies… we would have solved baldness. I know, some women like a bald head — shiny (I don’t understand the shininess. Do you need an oil free moisturizer?), milkdud looking ones. Given the number of creative solutions we’ve come up with for our own hair — and even eyelashes — men could have an unlimited number of options as well. Plus, we’d push preventive measures. If you’re happy being bald, fine. But if not, take a pill daily to keep your hair. Sounds reasonable to me.

Of course if women really ran pharmas, we would concentrate on creating amazing, life-changing drugs, just like the guys are now. These are just outlier thoughts on the non-critical options we all deserve.


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