Introducing the Ball-Busting Coalition

I think I’m starting a new non-profit organization. Ball Busters seems like a fitting name.

It’s dedicated to allowing the men who think that grabbing a woman’s pussy is not assault, have the privilege of experiencing a genital clutch of their own.

If they think that grabbing genitals is an acceptable action, clearly, it’s a cry for that sort of attention. I mean look at their outfit, they’re asking for it. We can’t all be an orange man, but it shouldn’t be too hard to find the right candidates to give them what they’re asking for.

Who qualifies FOR a ball busting?

  1. Anyone who thinks they can touch a woman’s genitals on a whim — so the likes of Donald Trump and Bill Cosby and Brock Turner et al.
  2. Anyone who says that touching a woman’s genitals is not sexual assault — that would be men like Alabama senator Jeff Sessions and those stupid bitches at the Trump rallies wearing t-shirts that invite Trump to grab them (although that is giving consent which is within their rights so they are exempt for now).

Unlike grabbing a woman’s genitalia where your fingers can quite easily slip inside her, a man’s ball set is a bit more complicated — well, anatomically at least. His hole is in the back, so that will require a bit of a pivot to be able to squeeze the balls and slip your finger in at the same time.

Maybe we’ll need to create some sort of device? Something like a selfie stick, where you put it between his legs and poke, squeeze, then go about your way.

Now who can BE a ball buster? 

This is tricky. I’m sure we can find a coalition of the willing. Yet, I suspect that these deplorables don’t truly don’t think that grabbing genitals is not assault. They think they grabbing a woman’s genitals is not assault. You see, they own all the pussies and can do as they please with them.

Once grabbed, I suspect they will seek retaliation. Clearly, with all the citizen and police guns in America, black men are out as options to be Ball Busters. Sorry, bro.

Perhaps women with martial arts training? They’d be like womanhood warriors — ninjas providing just desserts. 

Maybe the previous partners of those identified for a ball busting? Then at least they could add in the type of language she knows he’ll love to hear. You like it like that, huh, daddy? 

How about the contestants from RuPaul’s Drag Race? That would really ef up the deplorables’ self-esteem and leave them whispering and shivering in their ivory towers until Election Day, at least.

What’s more, the Queens actually HAVE balls that they regularly tape up and hide. They’d offer the best worst experience to the candidate who’s to have his ball busted. Plus, the recipients would be mesmerized by the queens’ fierce beauty–I mean, who isn’t? Yaaaaas Queen Yaaaas.

I bet this organization, this coalition to bust balls, won’t even require a Go Fund Me! Who’s in?


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