If something happens often enough, it can no longer be considered a coincidence. I’ve discovered there’s a standard phrase my friends ask the first time I mention a new guy. This happens well before we assign him a code name (like Home Depot for the guy I met when picking up paint or “the Sicilian” for obvious reasons), and even before the analysis of the first date. This is even before mentioning how we met. The first question seems to go like this:

“Is he cute?” My gay friends quip, quickly followed by “Show me his picture.”

“What does he do?” My white friends ask.

“Where did he go to school?” My African and Asian friends must know.

“Is he white?” An obsessive-level query by many of my black girlfriends. I might say, “I went to karaoke last night,” not even mention a guy, and they’ll ask “Is he black?” Obsessed!

That covers my typical focus group. I”ll do some undercover research to determine if other people fall back on one of these as the go-to question. Does this hold true for your group of friends? What do your friends say when you mention a new guy?