PSA: Stay Out of My Pocket, Timesheet and Uterus

Otherwise known as, the 10 Most Annoying Things Said to Single People. Unsaid thoughts in italics.

1. Must be nice to not have any responsibility.

2. You’re amazing and now that you’ve  [FILL IN THE BLANK with lost weight, gotten your hair colored, started working out, got a new job, moved, etc.], you will find a man.

3. I would never [FILL IN ANYTHING from skydiving to hanging on the Lower East side after midnight or attending a hip hop concert], I have too much to live for.

4. Kids are SO expensive!
And totally voluntary.

5. Why don’t you have kids?
See above (the voluntary part).

6. Why don’t you start going to church to meet someone?
Because I already have enough gay friends, judgmental old people and men who think my role  is to submit to them.

7. “I don’t see how you can you go out so late during the week!” And later in the conversation, said with a sigh, “Well at least you get to sleep.”
Am I sleeping or not?

8. I don’t have time for [FILL IN THE BLANK].
Yet you just gave me a lengthy rundown of the Real Housewives and Love and Hip Hop. And somebody named Honey Boo Boo. How about using THAT time? Meanwhile, as for me, I ain’t got time for no bronchitis.

9. Obviously, you should  [FILL IN THE BLANK with whatever hard work needs to be done]. You have so much more free time.

10. I can’t believe you spend that on shoes!
I can’t believe YOU spend that on daycare! Or college! Or soccer! 

Bonus: And one that’s personal to me (and some other singles, I’m sure)
11. It’s easy to quit your job when you don’t have anyone to take care of.
That’s because YOU are gonna take care of ME. You didn’t know?

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