Please Wear Short-Shorts

The unofficial start of summer is only a few days ago and already, I  feel the need to save the world from some horrifying looks. This will be short.

Going Strapless? Go Bold

Let’s first discuss strapless shirts/dresses, tube tops, and any other look that doesn’t have sleeves. If you’re going to wear it, WEAR IT. Don’t spend all your time hitching your top up. If it keeps slipping down, something is wrong. You either have on the wrong size top/dress or the wrong size bra. And if it’s not slipping, but you still feel the need to constantly check it, give up. You  need sleeves.

GOING SHORT

And the second area — shorts — on this, I must go IN. Shorts should be an inch above your knee or shorter. I love short-shorts. And it takes a special leg to pull those off. Make sure you have special legs. However, short-shorts aren’t my chief complaint today. The issue at hand is long shorts.

Shorts that hit the knee or somewhere below that are baffling to me. When you sport this look, you’re not doing yourself any favors! Well, unless you think chopping yourself off in the most awkward place is favorable for you.

This complaint applies to women AND men. I saw men in shorts that dragged on way past their knees. And I saw women in shorts that hit them at mid-calf. Ok, those are actually Capri pants. And I know I’ve said I wouldn’t complain about Capri pants anymore. Yet every year, here they come. Why do designers think it will look good to create pants that cover all the way down to the shapliest part of the leg (and it’s only American designers. You wouldn’t see a French or Italian woman in these pants)? They practically promise to make the wearer look like a stump! And the worse is when short women wear these horrible garments. If they get them in green, they could audition to be munchkins on the Wizard of Oz.

So save yourself, there’s a lot of summertime left. If your shorts (or capris) are longer than your knee, head on over to Rivington Street. There are plenty of tailors there who can whip your wardrop right into shape. Probably for less than $10. Happy Summer!

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