Dating by Group Vote

The council has never met. They were not voted in. They are not concerned with the welfare of a city, town, company or school. Instead, they have one constituent: me.

When I  let my guard down and seriously decided to make time for dating, I formed a dating council. I go to these Dream Team members with questionable dating issues like, “Is it okay that I wouldn’t date a security guard?” This being a very important question since it seems that only security guards like me. Or, “Can a 10:30 p.m. meetup at a coffee house possibly be a legitimate date?” Or, “Was it mean that I told him I’d already told him something three times?” (Seriously, I can’t stand to repeat myself. If you ask me if I like to dance one more time…) Or simply, “Talk me out of this?!”

The council is made up of a group of people hand-selected for their individual  insights, keeping in mind my own personality. Judgmental friends need not apply. I’ve already got that covered. In other words, they complete me (awww) and with them on my side, I should be fearless, right?

Council Members

The Gay Man
Why a must have: There’s nobody that will tell you “On to the next one,” about a questionable candidate faster than a gay man. Plus, they will REALLY tell you if your outfit makes you look fat — even if you don’t ask them. And there’s an added bonus of getting a lot more attention when you’re standing beside a handsome man.

The Flirt
Why a must have: They know exactly what to text back, of course! Plus, flirts smile a lot. And not in that she-must-be-crazy way. A bonus: they can interpret baffling comments made by potential suitors. Recently I was at a lounge and went to a downstairs bathroom. On the way back up the stairs, a man says to me, “You were down there a long time.” Immediately, I got defensive, assuming he was telling me I blew up the bathroom. The flirt advised me that he was just flirting (seriously?) Lame attempt, admittedly, but flirting none the less. She suggested that an appropriate response would have been, to say coyly, “Did you miss me?”

The Happily Married Woman
Note: Do not consult the unhappy ones. A story of their woes could keep you single for years.  And run if you sense that they settled and therefore think you should settle, too.
Why a must have: She’s got experience with the art of compromise and can also help you see what’s really important. They’re willing to sit with you for hours sifting through online profiles. And they always have something chipper to contribute, no matter how banal. Like, “Look he likes to travel too!” Unfortunately, the married woman can sometimes lead you to let the lames hang around too long, but that’s when you have to count on the gay council member to help you sort it out.

The Married Man
Why a must have: Got to have a guy’s perspective. They can try to tell you when to just shut up. Suggest that maybe you should stop taking things so seriously. And although it’ll make you mad, tell you what a man will see as high maintenance. What’s more, they have the uncanny knack of helping you pick out the ones who aren’t serious.

Like this idea? Feel free to form a Dating Council! Here are some other committee chairs to consider when forming your own:

  • The Revengist — Someone to bust out windows with you, run up on some chick or plot revenge in the event that you are wronged.
  • The Player — They can interpret the game AND help you up your game.
  • The Judge — if you’re a Pollyanna type, you need a critic to keep your nose free of Mack trucks.
  • The 20-Something — The women are fearless and the men have feelings. Roles don’t exist for this generation.  That’s a pretty amazing level of freedom — something everyone could benefit from.

Who’s on your committee?


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