The funniest things I heard during my recent trip to Bali, Indonesia:

1. “They act like all us white people look alike.”  Frustrated Australian tourist to her friend in a huff about Balinese tour guides.

2. “You’re from America? Like Bob Marley!” A clearly confused waiter to me who laughed goodnaturedly when I explained that Bob was from Jamaica, a totally different country.

3. “Sweetie, come meet this lady, she talks funny.” Australian father yelled to his daughter after meeting me at the pool bar. Later, his wife says to me,“I’m glad you’re talking to my husband because I’m not. I’m mad at him. ” Weird^2.

4. “Do you know Justin Bieber?” Pre-teen to me after finding out I was from New York.

5. “I love King Lebron! I LOVE this game!” Taxi driver to me about the NBA. Unfortunately, I devastated him by breaking the news of the Dallas sweep over the Lakers not knowing that the game played the night before hadn’t yet aired in Bali.

6. “You have brown skin, just like me.” Balinese woman said to me, in wide-eyed wonder after offering me a massage.

7. “Is your hair original?” Hotel clerk to me when complimenting my hair.

8. “And this is our cat shit coffee. We do wash it first.” Coffee plantation tour guide says to me after offering me luwak coffee.

9. “I don’t understand how to make you happy, Miss Tina. Do you want low price or good quality?” My driver to me after I first complained about the high prices at one silver jewelry store and then the low quality and lack of originality at the second, cheaper store.